Heart Broken

Me & ma fella bin 2gtha over 3 yrs - we had the perfect relationship - our families knew -we were thining wedding plans .... but recently i got into this jist wer i kept bringing up his past & puting him down (as he has lied to me about how many woman he been wiv in the past). i dint realise i was hurting him so much, he did everthing 4me ...was always ther 4me - gave me so much love /care but i suppose the grief i gave him was 2much and he finally snapped recently! He says i made him feel like he cnt open up to me as was scared id flip out - n now i realise yeh i was bad!!

recently we had an argument ...i wldn talkin 2him 4 a few days,then we decided to end it - but this time he dint wana get bk wiv me - he ment it!!! he said his love has died?? how can it all of a sudden?

he told me that he got off with a goree in a nightlclub a few weeks ago during the trime we wasnt talking- this was the same night he went to a weddin from which he txd me saying he was really tinkin bout me and him getting marriedwhilst he was at the ceremony!! so y did he cheat - he says its coz he dint think of me as wen i swore at him it broke his heart

Should i 4giv him as he says it was only sex - but he has put me dwn by saying he found the girl more attractive then me but it wasnt special as when we used to do it - he said he has turned into a typical male dog!

He dnt love m nemore but im still chasing him - he tells me to stop chasing him as he has eralised if he has dne that den love aint strong and he tells me himself that he aint worth my love after what he has done - i know the obvious thing is he has cheatd on me so i shld leave him but i cant - mayb i pushed him to do that ..... i have begged him to make it wrk but he says he just feels fustrated wen i am around him - but c\ he cares 4 me a tiny bit he will try - he has made it clear that he is only doing it 4 my sake and has said he hopes he wont cheat again - but he says he dont know his own mind - he dont understand himself how his love has all of a sudden vanished - he cldnt getenuff of me b4 ...... in 3 yrs he has never cheatd on me and always looked after me but in a space of a mnth his whole attitude to life has changed - we were best mates and soul mates we had so many good times as well as bad - he told me everthing - even b4 buying a pair of jeans he wld want me 2 giv him an opinion - we lost our bond wivout realising - if only he didnt cheat i wldnt be cnfused! and if only he dint cheat he wldnt be making sense of wat went wrong and wen>?? its all messed up - i feel like it will be ok if i go and cheat on him too btu then i think if he has dne it once he can do it again! and nxt time he wont tell her - he says he aint sorry as its done now & dts how he felt at the mommenr! he says i am stupid to want him back after he has told me he dnt love me and after he has told me he been wiv some1 else! he says i am blind in love and weak like i once made him!

I cant let go wat do i do? is it my fault? Can i forgiv him?
Will his love come back?

first of all you need to make up your mind do u really need him are you ready to accept him in the position he is right now, cause if his pasts keeps haunting you in this present moment or may be in future...your relationship isnt gonna work...and it would hurt u in future or so... so you need to think about it... first of all you need to think about it...if this past would affect you in future or it is right now, once you are sure about it, and you come to a conclusion take him out in a lonely place....and just say what you feel and ask him...what he wants ...what he wishes...and what does he expect..and what sort of relationship he is looking for...if he is looking for just a sort of relationship with which ur not comfortable then its no point of working out with him..cause this dosent means a bright future ....u should be sure about urself ...cause this is matter of lifetime....just current phase of ur mind should make ur decission...marriage is a huge step ..it is...it determines ur future sweety so give it a thought

if u need any kind of help you can ask me :)
ill tell u more afterwards

1 is it possible for him to fall out of love and let go that easily?
2 if i giv him space dya think he will miss me and realise?
3 he gave me so much love and now its just turned into anger - and plus he cheated on me - dya think ipushed him to this or is he jst a typical male dog ??

you cant ever judge a persons behaviour and you cant predict his behaviour in future..it mostly depends on how much hes addicted with u..how much he cares for you..how much he loves you..if he does he will say it himself ..and actually do it.. but u cant actually gurantee that he will actually be urs forever in future cause i dont know him...ur in better position to decide that i guess, if he cares abt u loves u.. ofcourse he will miss u most of him moment...if he dosent..then he wont...try to know how much ur important...try to find out.. life is very imp.. marriage is as well .just dont go for blindly without knowing something....this is ur point of time to make decission so think 100times before going for something..dont think when it will be too late

well he did love me i was very important - everything in his licfe was about me me me - until last month wen he had enuff and he says he dnt feel 4 me anymore and he only realised dis we went and shagd that goree whore in the club - ?? but that was around the time i was being nasty to him so im tinkin mayb i drove him to that and mayb coz i hurt him so much he is oushing his feelings 4 me away - n mayb i amsuffocating him

he has told his family he no lonmger is gna marry me ... can love die that quikly¬ he says he dnt know his own mind just that he dnt feel anything for me nemore - jus cares as a frend

well it dosent take even a minute for a guy to hate someone....guys r very ziddi if they love something they do a lot..if they hate ..then they hate it much...but then it depends on person to person every person has diff level of thinking and behaving to diff incident...some do forgive ...depends .. like i said closeness...its better you both talk about it....its better u convey yr feelings for him and ask him same in return.. unless you really speak about it..its not gonna go anywherre....tell him his position how imp he is..and how much u think about him...and ask what he feels abt u ...speak...unless u communicate its not gonna help

we have spoken and he aint the same no more - seeing me cry used to make his heart melt - now he says he dnt feel nuting wen i cry - just wants me to shut up
i have communicated so much wiv him but his answer is - i have cheatd on u i dont love u it will never wrk i want some1 else - get over me, our love is dead¬ but i dnt wana believe all this

every time i speak he gets annoyed wiv me - he says he has no feelings and i tell him i love him alot - but he just says wats the point of showing me ur love now that his love is dead? he says he is sorry but he dont understand himself why he is feeling like this

he says he sleptr with some1 else coz his love 4 me died - it hurts alot everything he is tellin me but atleast he is honest - i think im in denial and dnt wana belive he is over me! but i wana try and il try 4giving him 4 cheating on me - dya think im stupid 4 chasing him although he has slept wiv some1 lese?

he the one that has cheated on me and im the one chasing him? i must be stupid!!!

no you are not stupid....its just ur too much in love with him and u care for him..and you need him in ur life....but then u need to think whats good for you..do u wish to love someone who likes someone else or is interested in other women...do u think u can survive with this and will be comfortable with it... seeks ur own answer

no but i see it as he made a mistake - i pushed him away -

if he turns intothe oerson he once was wen he loved me he wld never do that - if he can change back then i wanna be wiv him and thats wat im trying to do - make him love me again so he can be the person he was

well then if ur confident abt urself thats well n good
all the best for a a nice future
our regards n well wishes r with u
best of luck
god bless you both

well if he cheated on u .. he cheated on u... theres no exuse for cheating...unless the person is drunk but thats a diff story... dont chase him... make him chase u .... n if he does... dont take him back... till he realizes what he did... n if hes lucky ull forgive him... u guys have been together for 3 years ... been through alot of shit together ... so i guess u can forgive him since u guys have been goin out for so long but personally its all up to u .... if u believe that he loves u or not...

Darling, this guy's telling you everything to hurt you and push you away. You don't deserve him, sweetie, but you've probably heard all that. You need and will find someone that will care for so deeply. Question is, if he is really the one for you.
It's hard to imagine being with another guy for you, but trust me, i've been there... it will happen (even though right now you don't want it to).
Saima's right, the more you chase the guy, the more he'll want to push you away. Make him chase you, lol! Sometimes people realise they have feelings for someone when they see them with someone else. Not saying you should pick the next guy that comes over and take him on, though.
let go of the bird...and if the bird comes back...it was always yours...

if he told u that he doesnt love u nymore then i think u should get ova him... i mean he cheated on u and he mite do it again who noes!!! do u really think u can trust him again??? well its up to u ..... if u really love him and u noe he wont cheat on u again then give him another chance ..and i think u 2 should stop talkin bout eachothers past realtionships cuz gurl its PAST rite and u gotta learn to respect what he does for u!!! :D

and better u speak to ur parents about it..and discuss with them

parents :s

well yeh...when things are so complicated and as u said ur parents already know abt u guys..so its better to talk to them

yup, true

it will surely help u up :) m sure

ohhman am outta words after i read all dat god throw da guy away he cheated on u told u he doesnt love u anymore u can do better and being togher for 3 years? dats anuva story u will find sumoen else and raj rite tell ur parents they shoudl kwn wot happeneing wiv ya

i just hope things go on well with you
our prayers are with you

yeh wish u all da best for it

same here hun

I chattd to him - cldnt stop chasing him altho he was bein a right arse wiv me .... he told me the other night that he lied bout cheating coz he wantd me off his back - i believe him as i knw him as a person and he aint the type but men are men and so i have a doubt

Told him to do a religious thing 2 prove he aint lying but he said i gta trust him .... n he dnt care if i beliv him o not!!! wat can i do??

i gta wrk on that 1!! He still dint wan be wiv and said his love has died - he relaisd wen he startd hangin wiv his m8s that bein wiv me he was lockd up - he was depressed wiv me as i used 2 say alot of nasty tings to him - N i am guilty of that i put him dwn alot saying stuff like - "u aint enuff 4 me" "i deserv better" "ur a no1" .... and i knw i was wrong to say these tings to him - i nevr realised the effects n i nvr ment it i was so spoilt by him and i guess i got greedy and more he gave me the more i wantd!!! but it broke his heart & slowly he strtd hating me 4 mkin him feel like that

He says marriage is out of the question at the mommnt and i aint gna cntrol him like i used to - i nvr realised i eva did cntrol him! he says he was under my thumb n he will nvr go ther again - it seems im ther at the momment tho! i dunno wats gna happen???!