womens view??

Hi friends ,as some of you know i am not a Muslim .But in the Islamic religon, Polygamy - marrying 4 wives at a time . And Purda are an important part of the culture .



My question to women and men too are ,how are things in this modern age with regards to polygamy . Is it still happening a lot ? What does a woman feel about it ? Before her marriage does a young girl be ready to accept sharing her husband with another man ?I Have read that Allah permits a man to take on more thyan one wife ONLY if he can treat they equally . Now is that humanly possible for a man to do so ???Have you seen it done ? Is anybody in such an relationship ?



Purdah - Islam wants the women to be covered .Are there women who cover themselves and feel covering themselves curbs their rights . Or do you feel its a good way to feel secure against one wanted stares etc . From a woman's point of view would like to hear an Islamic woman's point of view ,

P.S - My post is not meant to hurt any one or put any religon down . Its a way to understand our neighbours culture . If i said any thing offensive , please forgive me , as i may have said it without even knowing it coulod be hurtfull.

Hi friends ,as some of you know i am not a Muslim .But in the Islamic religon, Polygamy - marrying 4 wives at a time .



My question to women and men too are ,how are things in this modern age with regards to polygamy . Is it still happening a lot ? What does a woman feel about it ? Before her marriage does a young girl be ready to accept sharing her husband with another man ?I Have read that Allah permits a man to take on more thyan one wife ONLY if he can treat they equally . Now is that humanly possible for a man to do so ???Have you seen it done ? Is anybody in such an relationship ?

Qur’an is the only religion on the face of the earth that allows men having up till four wives, Allah says in the Holy Qur'an:

"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one." Al-Qur’an (4:3)

Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had many wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.

So, Islam came to control having an infinite number of wives, like it was during the Pre-Islamic era.

In the same chapter Allah says in Surah Nisa verse 129, Allah says:

"You will never be able to be fair and just among women (wives)...." Qur’an (4:129)

Hence, Islam does allow having more than one wife, yet it has set conditions for that, which is that the husband should be fair with all his wives, and treat them equally, which is very difficult.

Multiple marriages lay a heavy responsibility on men, which is why Allah allowed having more than one wife only if the husband treats his wives equally. If a man has more than one wife, he must treat them all in an equal manner, emotionally and financially. For example, he has to provide separate living accommodation for each of his wives.

Since it is very difficult to be just with all wives, in practice, most of the Muslim men do not have more than one wife.

Therefore polygyny is not a rule or an order but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.

The reason for multiple wives in Islam was not to satisfy men’s desire and that's it, but for the welfare of the widows and the orphans of the wars. During war times, many women are unable to find husbands, and they might prefer to be a co-wife than no wife.

Also allowing multiple marriages is useful in case a man's wife is sterilized and can't give him the chance of being a father; here he has the right to marry another wife, and leaving the choice to her whether she wants to continue being his wife if he marries another woman or not

However men are prohibited from cheating on their wives, meaning a man can't marry another woman without the knowledge of his wife. He should tell her, for she might refuse such situation, and in this case it's totally her right if she asked for divorce.

(Source: islamonline (http://www.islamonline.com) )


I thought this explained it well. :)

So, basically men are allowed to marry upto for wives...but Allah has also set conditions for this. Is not just as simple as...."Oh, I'm a Muslim man...so I can marry upto four women", even in this case the women has rights, the final decision is upto her...it has to be agreed by both, the husband and the wife.

Does it happen now?...well I can't account for that, but yes it is very rare for that to happen, yet still it may happen in some countries, I'm not too sure.

And Purda are an important part of the culture .


Purdah - Islam wants the women to be covered .Are there women who cover themselves and feel covering themselves curbs their rights . Or do you feel its a good way to feel secure against one wanted stares etc . From a woman's point of view would like to hear an Islamic woman's point of view ,

Couldn't find a good article for this....so I'll try myself.

First thing I'd like to point out is that Islam is a religion, not a culture. Many poeple don't realise but there is a significant difference between religion and culture.

Religion:Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe.


Culture: These patterns, traits, and products considered as the expression of a particular period, class, community, or population: Edwardian culture; Japanese culture etc.

Yes, in Islam it Allah does say that a woman should cover themselves, which is referred to as 'hijab'. This is where a woman is asked to cover herself from head to toe, only so that she doesn't reveal her figure. That does not necessarily mean wrapping yourself in cloth, it just menas wearing decent clothing that covers your body. It's compulsory.

What you are referring to is 'purdah', this is completely different as it is the covering of the lower face upto the eyes. This is not compulsory in Islam...meaning you don't have to do it, but it's better if you can.

In Islam, covering yourself is not meant to make a woman feel oppressed. It's really ironic the way many people feel that when a Muslim woman covers herself she's being oppressed by religion, yet Muslim women are not the only ones that cover themselves...what about nuns? Why do they cover themselves? Are they being suppressed by their religion? Why doesn't anyone ask that question?

It's just what we believe to be right.The reason why women are asked to cover themselves is for their own protection, like you said "to feel secure against unwanted stares".


Basically, what I'm saying, that as a Muslim girl (I'm not a woman yet...hehe) covering ourselves does not have any effects on our rights as women (or girls). It's just a way to show our modesty, and keep us safe in a way.

i read the islam thing u posted (post # 2)...that was great yaar...really well put..islamonline eh...good stuff...
and yes..it does happen now..i know ppl in that kind of a relatioship....

Qur’an is the only religion on the face of the earth that allows men having up till four wives, Allah says in the Holy Qur'an:

"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one." Al-Qur’an (4:3)

Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had many wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.

So, Islam came to control having an infinite number of wives, like it was during the Pre-Islamic era.

In the same chapter Allah says in Surah Nisa verse 129, Allah says:

"You will never be able to be fair and just among women (wives)...." Qur’an (4:129)

Hence, Islam does allow having more than one wife, yet it has set conditions for that, which is that the husband should be fair with all his wives, and treat them equally, which is very difficult.

Multiple marriages lay a heavy responsibility on men, which is why Allah allowed having more than one wife only if the husband treats his wives equally. If a man has more than one wife, he must treat them all in an equal manner, emotionally and financially. For example, he has to provide separate living accommodation for each of his wives.

Since it is very difficult to be just with all wives, in practice, most of the Muslim men do not have more than one wife.

Therefore polygyny is not a rule or an order but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.

The reason for multiple wives in Islam was not to satisfy men’s desire and that's it, but for the welfare of the widows and the orphans of the wars. During war times, many women are unable to find husbands, and they might prefer to be a co-wife than no wife.

Also allowing multiple marriages is useful in case a man's wife is sterilized and can't give him the chance of being a father; here he has the right to marry another wife, and leaving the choice to her whether she wants to continue being his wife if he marries another woman or not

However men are prohibited from cheating on their wives, meaning a man can't marry another woman without the knowledge of his wife. He should tell her, for she might refuse such situation, and in this case it's totally her right if she asked for divorce.

(Source: islamonline (http://www.islamonline.com) )


I thought this explained it well. :)

So, basically men are allowed to marry upto for wives...but Allah has also set conditions for this. Is not just as simple as...."Oh, I'm a Muslim man...so I can marry upto four women", even in this case the women has rights, the final decision is upto her...it has to be agreed by both, the husband and the wife.

Does it happen now?...well I can't account for that, but yes it is very rare for that to happen, yet still it may happen in some countries, I'm not too sure.

great info shazia..Mashallah :)...yes thts true thr are hadiths on men marrying upto 4 wives...and yes thr r ppl most in the east marrying upto 4 women =)

wowwwwwwww this is sooo interesting
i read everything
well ma cousins has 2 wives
ma mum dad had 2 wives
ohh i seen this but not 4 wives my gawd!!!

anyway personally i dont think i will want to share me husband with anyone else
dat all i can say am not sharing loool

therez alot ov misunderstandin n misinterpretin goin on, only if u cn treat em all the same n equally cn u marry 4!