Difference between love n obsession

hey everyone, i just had a quick question, n wanted ur thoughts on it, wat do u think is da difference between loving someone a lot and being obsessed wid dem?? i mean i can luv someone on a lot and be absoultly in luv wid dem, but how would u know dat my luv is turning into obsession, and if someone thinks that i'm obsessed wid someone, how would u explain to dem how much in luv u are, and can luv actually change into obsession??

i think you're obsessed wid him!! ;)
lol..jk'in

i really cant say. im not so clear as to what love is yet. so i dunno the diff. mein khud bhot hi confuzed hoon ;)

^lol

ok, so now i know i'm not da only one :D lol

um obsession is more like when u really really love a person and you're willing to do anything for him.
obsessions dont have to be with people. it could also be with things.
obsession is a bihmari that no one can get rid of but yourself.
if you're obsessed with something then you cant get that person or thing off your mind no matter what. you cant take anything negative about the person or thing. you get very aggressive when someone says something funny or upseting or negative about whatever it is your obsessed with.
when you love something or someone jokes are not taken seriously as they are in obsessions.


i really dont know wht i said but hope it helps. :D

^aww of course it does

but i got one question, is being obsessed at bad thing??

not really...
well it depends on wht you're obsessed with.
like if someone was obsessed with smoking thats not a good thing...
and if someone's obsessed with shahrukh rani or preity then thats a good thing
:D :D :D :D

^yah

k, thanx champa

arey issme thanx kehne ki baat kya hai.
ek behan madat ke liye nahi aye sakti?

um obsession is more like when u really really love a person and you're willing to do anything for him.
obsessions dont have to be with people. it could also be with things.
obsession is a bihmari that no one can get rid of but yourself.
if you're obsessed with something then you cant get that person or thing off your mind no matter what. you cant take anything negative about the person or thing. you get very aggressive when someone says something funny or upseting or negative about whatever it is your obsessed with.
when you love something or someone jokes are not taken seriously as they are in obsessions.


i really dont know wht i said but hope it helps. :D


uh oh..
i have an obsession..
:(

kya bhootni didz? :confused:

*my lips r sealed*

is that how u spell sealed? LOL
no i dont think so
seeled?
sealed?
seeeullllaaed! :D that must be it! ;)

awww ok dont tell if u dont want to
lol
its
SEALED (i think :D)

omg...i miss my hrithiku

obsession and love is diff...
obsession is like ur obsessed with srk...food..n all

arrey vah. rocket scientist right here!^^

lol



i think so rani's explanation vas better, vat say? ;)

yeh saved typing
so 1word mein all kaha
but i dun think obsession really gets on ur mind 24 x 7...baki yeh there r many sign u can find out..ur obsessed with someone

yeah uhhh..
im still liking rani's explanation better. lol

why we talking abt obession...UNI is mine :D

haan to??

love to its that gut feeling you get. When youlook into your partners eye's and just know that it will last forever...no pain...no yelling and screaming...no cheating or open relationships, when you just want that one person.

wooooow cool :D

love to its that gut feeling you get. When youlook into your partners eye's and just know that it will last forever...no pain...no yelling and screaming...no cheating or open relationships, when you just want that one person.

^nicely said :D


but wat if u get dat feeling, u know looking into their eyes, n hving dat feeling, but yet u still are crazy bout dem, u think bout dem 24/7, and some ppl call it obsession, but u still hve does feelings of luv and u can tell its luv, but everyone calls it obssesion, how would u be able to tell da diff?? if there is any

i donno wots love so cant say abt obsession
dono se durr rahoo sukhi rahonge:p

uh oh..
i have an obsession..
:(

I think SO i have an obsession too :eek:

oh psssh thanx a lot ranihttp://www.bollywoodheaven.com/forums/images/smilies/msn/rolleyes.gif

lol j/k :D

um what was the defini of it on first page
i got habit of not visiting first pages..
tats why im always confused...:D

nice rocket scienctist??? hahaha bhoot enuffff yo loool

emmm obessin is wiv THINGS i thought?
i thought like what amreen sed on her post dat love?

^i hve no clue my self :D

in my opinioin, when there is luv, there is no obsession, when i say i'm in luv wid someone, n another person says i'm obsessed wid dem, i think dat da person in luv is right, cause they are da only ones tht know how dey feel at dat moment, n they are da ones tht are able to tell da diff between luv n obsesssion, so, to answer my own question, i'm in luv, i'm not obsessed wid him :D lol

wow wow nice info...
better copy it down :D

lolz

thanx bhootni di !!
i liked my definition better than any one else's too :D

ahem///:D

yep...
my defintion is the tops :D

u wish :9:

i dont wish..
I KNOW

*better not disturb u then* :D

lolz
did u even read wht i wrote?
prob not...

looooooooooooool..
i knew this was gonna be next...question lool
yeah i did..:D

lolz

Omg...im home alone...
and nothin to do..

i think i should look over photo albums..lol:D

lol
aww

actully bad idea..i think i shud
ummm dress up loool :9:

i dont think anyone in this world..think abt someone 24 x 7

weather ur in love or whteva how can someone been in ur head 24/7???

raj n ruby...
ok ok ok sorry...
but other than that one part my definition was the best :p

i do..i mean everywhere i go Hrithik is in my head 24/7

all the time...:D

^^ lol

yeah see you guys its a bihmari......now i PROVED that something or someone can be in your mind 24/7 :D

thanx khushi di for proving my point :D

srk is in my head 24/7 :D

srk and rani are on my head 24/7 :D
so is aman n raj :D :D :D

^dats kinda impossible

u can't hve soo many ppl in ur head, to think of one, ur gonna hve to forget da other :D

chup

yeah true...welll the term *HOt Dude* is in my head 24/7

soo yeha it keeps changin the person from bus stop to train stattion to college to mall lool

yeah true...welll the term *HOte Dude* is in my head 24/7

soo yeha it keeps changin the person from bus stop to train stattion to college to mall lool


hote dude?

are you gujjrati, that yer pronouncin it "hote"? :p

i'm half gujju :D

ewww shuddup..bhoootni...it was a typo u knwo my spelling lool
No im DEFINATELY NOT GUJJU......

geez looks liek im catching it from my bhabi though :confused_

^^nothing wrong in being gujju though

yeah absolutely not...Gujjuz ROCK

i know nah :D

yeah :D

i'm half gujju :D

that's nice :D

i know eh :D

yeupperz! :D

proud to be part of the gujju/bengali community!! :D

gujju/ bengali???

yeh topic meh kaisi agaya??lol jk :D

sorry

i'm just kiddin rani :D

yeah i know

me bengaliii hehehe

Actully i was the one who bought tat Gujju/bangali thingy in here...heheehe :D
welll u know taking topics off track is my childhood habit../

^^yes it is :9:
aur bachpan ki adat nahi jah sakte :9:

ofcourse not..wen i was a kid
i use to go this kid forum...and there
on every1 talked abt how much milk they
drank and i use to go off track and talked of DARU..:p..*alcohole*

this is is like 1st forum

U mean to say this is my first forum...huh/

hey that reminds me
how long has bwh been on da net???
how old is da site?

^^ lol where did this come from? :9: :D

dont know juts a radom question i wanted to know for sumtime and talking abt forums i remembered

lolz

hehehe

haha

sooo anyone know ?

1995 i suppose
its the first bollywood forum on net...it says so

One of the most common questions we get asked "How do you know if it is really love?" Well, as you can imagine, this also happens to be one of the most difficult questions to answer! Love is such a strange, wonderful thing that nobody really has codified what it is yet. And to further complicate matters, there are so many different kinds of love: the love you feel for a friend, a family member, a sport or even a pet. This is such a crazy emotion that there is absolutely no way that I can definitively answer how you know it is love… but I am going to give it a try!

Now, in order to find out if you love someone, the basic place to start would be to ask yourself, do you want to be with them? If the answer to that question is no, then it really can't be love. When you love someone, you want to be with them. Not just be with them, but share everything with them. You have a great day at work and want to rush home and tell them every wonderful thing that has happened. You feel excited at the prospect of just being in their company, just being close to them isn't enough, you want to be a part of them, a part of their life forever. You can't stand the thought of being away from them yet, when you are, you still feel that ever-present bond that ties you together wherever you go. You can almost feel what they are feeling. You feel like, with a little bit of effort, you can see what they are seeing and think what they are thinking. It is almost as if you both can occupy each other's bodies with complete trust and harmony. That to me is love.

Now, on the other side of the spectrum, there are a host of emotions that people confuse with love. One of the most common is lust. There is a difference between wanting to sleep with someone and wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone.

Being overly dependent on the other person is also not a part of love. Some people fall into the trap of thinking they love someone just because they are afraid to be alone. They have become dependent on the other person for so much that they don't know how to make it on their own, or they would much rather be with someone than no-one.

This leads to the old cliché, in order to love someone else, you must first learn to love yourself. Well, we've all heard that before, but what does it really mean? It means that you have to be confident in your own ability and your own judgement. You really have to like yourself and know what you have to offer another person. There is no way that you can love another person if you are so stuck in your own hang-ups that you bow down and propitiate to the other person. That is, you do anything they ask and agree with everything they say out of fear that they will love you less because you don't do those things.

Basically, the question of whether or not you are in love with someone is pretty cut and dry: you either are or you aren't… and deep down, you know the answer. You just have to trust yourself to recognize it.

yeah that what i read as well
or did i read 1997??
ohh forgot lol

man 1995? i was 5 years oldddd heheheheh aww

wow great informationn
i enjoyed reading dis part

This leads to the old cliché, in order to love someone else, you must first learn to love yourself. Well, we've all heard that before, but what does it really mean? It means that you have to be confident in your own ability and your own judgement. You really have to like yourself and know what you have to offer another person. There is no way that you can love another person if you are so stuck in your own hang-ups that you bow down and propitiate to the other person. That is, you do anything they ask and agree with everything they say out of fear that they will love you less because you don't do those things.

i read over dis like 10 times now hehe

well reading all this really helps u a lot

yeah it does it reallly really interesting
normally some wont even thing about anything like this
but when you read it and then it hit you and then u start thinkin about it
happens to me a lot lol

One of the most common questions we get asked "How do you know if it is really love?" Well, as you can imagine, this also happens to be one of the most difficult questions to answer! Love is such a strange, wonderful thing that nobody really has codified what it is yet. And to further complicate matters, there are so many different kinds of love: the love you feel for a friend, a family member, a sport or even a pet. This is such a crazy emotion that there is absolutely no way that I can definitively answer how you know it is love… but I am going to give it a try!

Now, in order to find out if you love someone, the basic place to start would be to ask yourself, do you want to be with them? If the answer to that question is no, then it really can't be love. When you love someone, you want to be with them. Not just be with them, but share everything with them. You have a great day at work and want to rush home and tell them every wonderful thing that has happened. You feel excited at the prospect of just being in their company, just being close to them isn't enough, you want to be a part of them, a part of their life forever. You can't stand the thought of being away from them yet, when you are, you still feel that ever-present bond that ties you together wherever you go. You can almost feel what they are feeling. You feel like, with a little bit of effort, you can see what they are seeing and think what they are thinking. It is almost as if you both can occupy each other's bodies with complete trust and harmony. That to me is love.

Now, on the other side of the spectrum, there are a host of emotions that people confuse with love. One of the most common is lust. There is a difference between wanting to sleep with someone and wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone.

Being overly dependent on the other person is also not a part of love. Some people fall into the trap of thinking they love someone just because they are afraid to be alone. They have become dependent on the other person for so much that they don't know how to make it on their own, or they would much rather be with someone than no-one.

This leads to the old cliché, in order to love someone else, you must first learn to love yourself. Well, we've all heard that before, but what does it really mean? It means that you have to be confident in your own ability and your own judgement. You really have to like yourself and know what you have to offer another person. There is no way that you can love another person if you are so stuck in your own hang-ups that you bow down and propitiate to the other person. That is, you do anything they ask and agree with everything they say out of fear that they will love you less because you don't do those things.

Basically, the question of whether or not you are in love with someone is pretty cut and dry: you either are or you aren't… and deep down, you know the answer. You just have to trust yourself to recognize it.

Raj,
That is by far the best definition ever. I completely have to agree on everything you said. Yes there are many different kinds of "love." Like the one I have for all of you is friendship love. :9: Yes love is a question of if you really want to be with the person. And if the answer no then that is not love. If you are not willing to spend the rest of your life with the person that is not love.
This was beautifully said Raj. Muah!

what he didnt wrote tat himself..

i can guranteee on tat..fully :D

lol
well whoever did that was good

loool yh

^lol

well i guess i agree wid u raj, but now dat u have defined luv really well, how bout a good explanation of obsession?? dat would really help me here :D

^^i told ya already :D
i see how it is
u only like raj's definition :D

Omg what are u people..

they not his.../

^^lol
meaning? :D
ur drunk :D

what.. /

i was asking wht u meant by ur post :/

i mean those definitions arent his own loool :p

Omg what are u people..

they not his.../

i know they aren't i'm just asking him to find something dat good bout obsession

its important if we focus on wht it means..rather then i wrote it or not?

^yeah i agree
khushi was making a big deal out of it :D lolz jk

speaking about obsession ... u can be obsessed abt someone....but its not possible 24 x 7 ...obsession causes lot of jealousy is true..and could lead to bad endings as well...it can affect a persons mind internally..if they fail to get that particular thing/person

well i dont like him gettin the credit for it lool..
i shjould be instead loool :D

yes ur great ur mahan..ur the best ..all credit to u khushi !! u rawk

does tht make u feel good?
:)

yeah ofcourse....bring more...

i love getting the credit..:D

man i feeel well uncofortable if anyoen sed all dis raj sed above^^^
man i feel like a snob lil idiot hehe

speaking about obsession ... u can be obsessed abt someone....but its not possible 24 x 7 ...obsession causes lot of jealousy is true..and could lead to bad endings as well...it can affect a persons mind internally..if they fail to get that particular thing/person

^but if ur obsessed wid a person, can it be a good obsession?? is dat possible??

it can be... like im obsessed about katrina.....i can control myself... u should have control over ur emotions and ur actions ....if ur obsessed with someone ...dosent mean u have to write his/her name on ur hand wiff knife... dosent mean u have to keep calling up n troubling them..and threaten ull do this if they dont come or do this n that....if ur obsessed dosent mean u need to follow them everywhere

^ookk, so den wats da diff between loving dem and being obbsessed in a good way??

abt love i told in the previous page...and obsession in good way told u above

ye its true what fantasticguy said, theres only one definition of love, and that is some1 u really care abt and cant see get hurt. but obsession has two forms, one is just like love, the other also involves love but there also jealousy in between, hatred, and pain in that kind of obsession.

man it weird when sumone says raj as in fantasticguy loooooooool

abt love i told in the previous page...and obsession in good way told u above

dey seem da same to me

akki4life said right as well...

well they seem same to u.. not to me though

my answer frm da beginning is still not answered, i'm still confused

i dunno whts in u...u either try to confuse urself..or even if u do understand u show u dont...

^how bout niether :D lolz

ok, i'll just find a answer myself :D

love is a relationship of caring and giving...obsession is display of power...love is submergence of ego..while obsession involves display of ego..confusing love with obsession is like drinking poison when one wants to have milk

The word, "obsess" (or "to be obsessed") is defined by Concise Oxford Dictionary as "preoccupy continually or to a troubling extent". Obsession can be for a person or thing or act. It is a psychological condition that in its extreme form needs medical attention. The person affected by an obsession desires the object of his obsession with enormous passion, ferocity and even madness. When the object of obsession is a person of opposite sex, there is a tendency to confuse the obsession with love. However, there is a fundamental difference between love and obsession.

Love is focused and centered on the needs of the beloved. Obsession, in contrast, is self-centered. The obsessed is always focused on his (or her) own desires and the object of obsession is incidental. Love treats the beloved as a human being and in extreme cases lovers treat love and beloved as divine. For the obsessed the centre of his attention is an object with no desires, no life independent of the intense desire that the obsessed has for the object. He (or she) is almost like a child who is mad for a toy and will take the toy with him (or her) to bed, to garden, and even to the toilet. But if one day the toy hurts the child, there is immediate rejection. The child is now looking for a new toy while the old one is thrown mercilessly into the dustbin.

Obsession is, unlike love, not just passionate; it is ferocious and cruel. The pathos of cruelty that an obsessed displays can be seen in an innocent form in the craving that a child has for a favorite toy. Take the favorite toy away and the child will cry for days and may even stop eating food. The child can be cruel to himself in such a situation. The same cruelty may turn outwards to the toy when the toy is no longer the favorite one. An adult, who expresses obsession in terms of erotic love, is even more dangerous. He (or she) may go to any extent to get the object of his (or her) desire and may even turn violent if the object is taken away. Intensity of such passion is destructive in case of any denial; the obsessed one either destroys oneself or destroys the object of obsession. Newspapers are full of stories of some young boy or girl committing suicide after being turned down. One also hears stories of some boy killing or throwing acid on the face of his girl friend after knowing that she is getting married to someone else.

Violence at denial is only one facet of obsession. The other facet of violence manifests when the obsessed gets hold of and becomes the owner of the object of his desire. No, they do not live happily thereafter. The relationship of the obsessed one with the object of obsession is not a relationship of caring. It is a relationship of power, a display of brutishness, a game of ego. The ownership has to be absolute, to the exclusion of everyone else, and the obsessed needs to demonstrate it every moment to get any pleasure from it. One is not concerned if this stifles or even hurts the object of obsession. Too bad, if it does. The case is typical of a child who sees a beautiful singing bird in the garden, gets hold of it and puts it in a glass jar besides his table, without any concern for the life of the bird. By the end of the day the bird is dead and the child is back in the garden looking for a fresh bird.

Surely, it is very difficult to distinguish between love and obsession during the initial stages of a relationship. But some telltale signs should not be ignored. Let us say that a girl has to decide whether her boy friend is treating her as an object of obsession or as his beloved. Some of the questions that she must ask herself are as follows:

Does he accept me as I am or does he want me to make some changes to my appearance or dress or hairstyle or even my career?


How does he react to my friends, relatives, family members, colleagues and acquaintances? Do all these appear as pests to him and he wishes to have me all by himself or does he genuinely enjoy meeting everyone who is dear and near to me?


How does he handle disagreement with me? Does he get disturbed when I have an independent opinion or does he welcome it?


In a public place or when introducing to friends or relatives, does he show me off as if I am a trophy that he has won?


Does he want to be with me at all times (either physically or by telephone) so much so that I find myself getting cut off even from my family? Does his continuous preoccupation with me has started affecting adversely his or my job and normal life routines?


Would he still care for me if I denied to him what he craves for most? (This may be sex or may be something else) One may also ask the question, would he love me even if due to some reasons beyond my control, I cannot meet him or talk to him for one year?


Are his expressions of passion interspersed with occasional threats of termination of relationship?

Last but not the least, how do I feel when I am with him? Do I feel strong, comfortable and relaxed? Or do I feel weak, tensed up, on my toes, centre of attention but not relaxed?

^i think i got it :D

ok, thanx for da good explanations, i got it now

np

man it weird when sumone says raj as in fantasticguy loooooooool

lol, now i knw his name is raj.

mujhe yaad kiya? :)

lol, i was just saying that now i knw ur name is Raj.

yesh bande ka naam raj hai
whats urs?